New Life
He took the child by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum,” which means, “Little girl, I say to you, arise!”
Mark 5:41
In chapter five of the Gospel of Mark, Jesus is known to have brought a synagogue official’s twelve year old daughter back to life, telling her, “talitha koum!” The girl arose quickly and astounded everyone when she walked around. I find myself relating to this girl. Not because I literally died and was physically brought back to life, but because I like to think that Jesus provided me with a new life, too.
I have been brought up in a super religious family. God has always been placed at the center of my family. As a child, I loved learning about our Lord. I loved praying. I loved Sunday school. I loved asking questions. God provided me with a strong amount of joy from a young age. However, by the time I reached sixth grade, stress really got to me.
I was self-conscious, lonely, worried about school, and caught up in what would happen in my future. Anxiety consumed my mind. On top of all this, I wanted to get closer to the Lord, but I felt too unworthy. I thought that I had to make myself completely perfect before I could even start to have a relationship with God. At this time, I did not pray with intention, I read scripture only when I was at church, and I tried to avoid talking about God with my friends.
I was ashamed, convicted, and a slave to fear. I wanted to change, but I thought that I needed to undergo that change all on my own.
The summer after seventh grade, I had the privilege of going to an incredible summer camp. At that camp, I heard so many great talks, I reflected over scripture, and I met so many people. On Thursday night of that week, I got to experience eucharistic adoration. It was not my first time going to adoration, but it felt so different than all of my other experiences. I was reflecting over the week, staring right at Jesus. I discovered how much joy He brought to me throughout that week. I also came to the conclusion that I could not expect to become an ultimate perfect being before developing a relationship with Christ.
Sitting in the presence of the Holy Spirit, I decided that I was worthy of God’s love.
Jesus died a terrible death for me, making me worthy. I thanked Jesus that night, and I decided that I was going to live everyday through Him, with Him, and in Him.
After that week, I felt new and refreshed. I firmly believe that during my experience in adoration, Jesus made me new. Before I made the conscious decision to live my life for our Lord, I was dead, unhappy, and lonely. However, Jesus took my hand, lifted me up, and gave me new, fresh air to breathe.
Sweet, sweet Jesus, You took it all upon yourself. Help me accept Your gift of salvation and the opportunity of new life. May I constantly and willingly live my every day, every hour, every minute, and every second for You and only You. Help me to place You above all other things, ridding myself of distractions and staying strong while being tempted. I love You, Lord. Amen.